As I transition from a full time job to being self- employed, it’s been an interesting past few weeks. The first several days on my own I had some pretty emotional days. Days of questioning what the heck I was doing, and a loss of missing my coworkers who I so fondly thought of and loved working with. This is all part of the recalibration process though.
I often see time and time again with clients, friends, and family that when they make any sort of change they at some point hit up against some undesirable feelings. They get confused on why they may be feeling this way despite taking action steps to get them closer to what they desire. I often have to remind them about this transition period and how when we make these changes (often based from not being happy where we are) those feelings don’t magically go away. When we are out of those undesirable situations then we finally have some space to reassess why we got to that point in the first place. It’s a time of reflection and learning what lesson we need to take away from that situation. We are a culture to jump so quickly into the next thing to mask how we are actually feeling, thinking the next ‘thing’ will make all the disappointment, hurt, and pain go away.
Unfortunately, this isn’t how we are wired or how it works. It may work for a short period but those unprocessed emotions and experiences always find their way back until we acknowledge and process them.
My words of encouragement for those clients and loved ones in my life becomes a confirmation that of course you are feeling this way. Of course you are overwhelmed, sad, excited, grieving, relieved, tired, etc. Of course you have these feelings. Now give yourself permission to feel them and to find the support and encouragement you need to go through them, so that you can get on to the new experiences you are so excited to create.
Being aware of this and also having just last year gone through some pretty major transitions (moving across the country, starting a new job, supporting my mom through chemo, etc.) I’m well aware of the understanding we need to have with ourselves and with others through transition.
I’ve been giving myself permission to slow down. Those first several days I just hunkered down and felt all the feelings. I cried, I slept, I read, I worked, I watched TV, I gave myself permission to do what I felt I needed in those moments without pushing myself through it. It felt really nurturing to give myself this gift instead of rushing into something new right away.
What permission do you need to give yourself for where you are and what you are feeling right now?