Walls & Personal Freedom
For the first two weeks of June I had the opportunity to go to France. It was my first time in Europe and I was blessed enough to spend the majority of that time at a chateau originally built in the 11th century. My personal preference for a vacation is to rest. I love to sightsee but I prefer to have a beautiful view, a good book and the sounds of nature surrounding me. I was able to have that relaxing vacation. The views were gorgeous and the energy was palpable. One of my favorite things to do there was to sit in different areas of the property with my journal, a book and a blanket and I felt like I was on cloud 9.
As I sat on the lawn overlooking the unfilled moat and some broken walls I reflected on how many walls I’ve put up around myself in my life. I became curious about what those walls were made of, how thick they are, how far out they go. Are any walls or sections in my life being torn down? When did I first start creating these walls? For what purpose? Was it to protect myself and my heart from them or to protect them from me? What do I feel is outside of the walls that I’m afraid to let in?
I won’t lie - I feel safe within the walls that I’ve built up around me. I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. It is beautiful inside the walls, undisturbed and peaceful.
But as I look at some of the broken crumbling sections of the wall I see openness and beauty there too. I saw red poppy flowers growing through the rubble. As I look at the walls I see that they are being repaired because they do serve a purpose. So in my life if walls are beginning to break down and I decide I need to rebuild some of them how do I want them to look now? If I rebuild them what do I want them to be made of this time - what is their purpose now that I’ve changed and see more openness and opportunity by letting some fall down? Does my view of what I’m protecting myself from change at all?
I don’t have all the answers to the above questions for myself yet, but merely asking them has cracked me open in a new way to look at how I perceive the world differently. Allowing these questions to surface has brought more freedom to my thoughts and my heart.
I encourage you to sit with the walls that you surround yourself with. Turn it into a meditation or just reflect on how you may be keeping people and opportunities out of your life, or if you’ve let too many things in. What are the boundaries you need to set or break down in order to find your personal freedom?
Without putting pressure on yourself to answer these questions, just begin to let them float around your head and heart, and see if any patterns, epiphanies or deeper understandings of yourself begin to emerge. The deeper we understand who we are and why we do the things that we do in the way that we do them, then we are able to find more of this personal freedom.